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lyrics

Light touches your eyes like an unfamiliar thing. The medication leaves you sensitive to its sharp florescent sting. But now I fill out forms to take you temporarily away...through bright corridors of airports, to hospitals in other States. Landing at St. Petersburg, I fumble with your hand, and explain again the situation in words I think you'll understand. Oh, if you could only map for me your madness...reveal an unseen code for all your sentences that are so awkward that they sound like palindromes. But instead, I answer my own questions. I speak to you across a gulf. I watch peripherally for baggage; you squint blankly at the wall. Brightly lit and dreary...brightly lit and dreary at the same time. Brightly lit and dreary...brightly lit and dreary at the same time. I've seen you in restraints before. I've seen you in a cage. I've seen your face consumed with fear as I've had those things arranged. I've watched anti-psychotics drain expression from your face. I've watched my remaining family occupy three feet of space. So when a silent, sullen intern puts our mothers hand in yours, and all I've tried to say gains meaning as some connection is restored, and theres a moment where youre lucid; let it not be in my head. I cant bear to lose the both of you: not now. Not again.

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from An Illusion Against Death, released July 31, 2007

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The Paperbacks Winnipeg, Manitoba

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